When You Fall in Love with the Red Bullseye

I haven’t always considered myself a shopper. I used to actually dread shopping. It was something I avoided like the plague. I didn’t care to peruse the aisles. I didn’t enjoy trying clothes on, and I for damn sure didn’t go to stores just for fun.

Then one day, everything changed. I met my shopping match. My soul mate.


The giant red bullseye greeted me. It’s almost as if it was saying, “Hey you, with the sweatpants and dry shampooed hair, Stop inside! We have good deals and cup holders for that $5.27 latte you are holding. I know you're stressed. Come inside and I’ll make everything better”. From that moment on, I was in love.

When going to Target, the stress relief comes from just being in the store itself. The bliss of an early morning coffee and the freedom to roam the store as you please is euphoric. Especially if you can manage to get to target kid and husband free. Ah, Pure Joy.

When going to Target, you can always attempt to have a shopping list, but it will fail every time. The Target Gods speak to you the moment you enter those welcoming red doors. They tell you what you need.

The first thing you see is the Dollar Spot. Your mind explodes with excitement as you notice they have set out their seasonal items. Then your eyes dash over to the updated clothing section. Your heart starts racing as you spot new chunky knit cardigans. The scent of freshly brewed coffee fills the air.

Everything after that is a blur.

You wander mindlessly through the store, in a zombie-like trance. Your eyes are glazed over, staring straight ahead, as you set another candle into the cart. You walk down the blanket aisle, with your arms stretched out, feeling each blanket as you pass. You continue the course through the store, only pausing to place another item into your cart.

Before you know it, you are exiting through the big red doors. Someone in the distance saying “have a great day!” is ringing in your ears.

You have no recollection of the past hour.

Halfway to your car, you start to awake from your Target trance. You realize you're clutching a long white paper in your hand. The receipt.

You glance down and gasp in disbelief. You have spent $168. You skim the list and see a random assortment of beauty products, home decor, and wait...what!? EIGHT CANDLES?!

“Oh well,” you think, “I deserve it”.

So you get into your car and begin the drive home. You can’t wait to frolic in your pile of new sweaters and light all eight candles while putting up your new decor.

But, the happiness will soon be replaced by guilt when you check your bank account and have $4.08 left. You’ll then decide that you should save money and stop recklessly spending on material items.

That is, until the next Target trip...

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